For those who have left, that was an incredibly tough decision to make. But I want you to understand that for those who stay, this is an equally tough decision to make. To everyone listening who has chosen to stay in their marriage with a covert narcissist, I want you to know this: you are not alone. Your choice to stay is not a measure of your strength or worth. It is simply the path you are on right now, and there is no shame in that.
Intimacy Issues with a Covert Narcissist
Emotional Abuse Consumption
Emotional abuse is often described as insidious, and for good reason. It doesn’t have to happen constantly to dominate your thoughts, emotions, and decisions. Even if the abuse only happens 10% of the time on a clock or calendar, the fear of it, the anticipation of it, and the recovery from it consumes your mind 100% of the time.
3 Simple Steps for Boundary Setting with a Covert Narcissist
Vulnerable narcissists, often referred to as covert narcissists, cross emotional boundaries. They overstep and hit you emotionally, blaming you, guilting you, dismissing you. They have no regard for your emotional space.
Boundaries may often be crossed in ways that can be so subtle that we don’t even realize it, especially when dealing with covert narcissists. But the impact is massive! Today I want to give you 3 steps that you can take to help set better boundaries with a covert narcissist.
Covert Narcissists Need a Supply and a Scapegoat
Narcissistic people need two dominant things: supply and scapegoats. They need someone who cares for their every need and want. This supply feeds their ego, boosting them up, laughing at all of their jokes, hanging on every word they say, and giving them all of their attention. In addition, they need scapegoats. Nothing is ever their fault, so they need somewhere for their blame to go, all the time. Everything that has ever gone wrong in their life is to be blamed on someone or something else.
Covert Narcissists are Adult Bullies
Bullying is NOT a kid’s problem. Someone recently said to me that we deal with bullies in our childhood. Teen years, there may be a few bullies here and there, but not really. By adulthood, we are past all that kid stuff. Well, this got me to thinking. Are we really past all the bullying behavior in adulthood? I sure don’t feel like we are.
His trauma became our trauma
7 Ways that a Covert Narcissist Reacts
Have you ever called a covert narcissist out for something they have done? How did that go? One of the most frustrating things ever is to try to get a covert narcissist to take any responsibility or to even listen to you in the first place. When you try to talk with them regarding how you feel about something they did, you can expect a large amount of pushback. Here are 7 ways that a covert narcissist reacts.
Circular Conversations with a Covert Narcissist
Let me start by saying these aren't conversations. They are verbal competitions and even warfare. Narcissists don't use conversations to find understanding and compromise. They use them to win. These conversations are extremely planned and manipulated. There is absolutely no such thing as spontaneity. There is no place for this to be relaxed and natural chatting. No, it is war!
How to Turn the Table on a Narcissist
Covert Narcissism is the Invisible Abuse
Covert narcissistic abuse is a hidden abuse. It is invisible to the world around us. Our family and friends don't see it. Our neighbors don't see it. Our churches don't see it. Our therapists don't see it. The courts don't see it. And way too often, the victims don't see it either. It is a gradual stealing of your right and ability to matter in this world. It is such tiny steps that it is not seen by the victim for years, decades or even a lifetime.
Setting Boundaries in Toxic Relationships
Setting boundaries is a skill that you must develop when dealing with a narcissist! It is a skill you need to have anyways, but the need for it is more prominent in toxic relationships.
Narcissists and other toxic personalities will take extreme advantage of anyone who shows the smallest sign of weakness in their boundaries.
Life with a Narcissist: An Exhaustion Like No Other
7 Common Things the Narcissist Says to Undermine You
The Narcissist's Constant Victim Role
How the Covert Narcissist Plays Rejection, Abandonment, and Abuse
Others have it much worse than me, shouldn’t I just be grateful?
What Happens when a Narcissist Tries to “Fix” that Broken Relationship?
Why do narcissists give only misery?
Narcissists: Is it okay to love them and still walk away?
Narcissistic relationships are the most confusing things. The emotional roller coaster you find yourself on is unbelievable and crazy-making. At one point, this person was the love of your life. And you still see glimpses of that from time to time. Yet the abuse between those glimpses is devastating. Your heart feels like a ping pong ball ricocheting back and forth. In the midst of this chaos, please know that it is okay to have feelings for them and yet to still walk away!