One of the most challenging aspects of covert narcissistic abuse is its subtle nature. Unlike overt narcissism, which is more easily recognizable through grandiose behavior or obvious arrogance, covert narcissism thrives on subtle manipulation that is harder to detect. These tactics are designed to undermine your confidence, control your behavior, and make you question your reality, often leaving you feeling confused, invalidated, and powerless.
Covert Narcissists are Adult Bullies
Bullying is NOT a kid’s problem. Someone recently said to me that we deal with bullies in our childhood. Teen years, there may be a few bullies here and there, but not really. By adulthood, we are past all that kid stuff. Well, this got me to thinking. Are we really past all the bullying behavior in adulthood? I sure don’t feel like we are.
Emotional Childishness and Covert Narcissism
Professionally Reviewed by Psychotherapist Ross Rosenberg, M. Ed., LCPC, CADC
Will they ever grow up?? Am I dealing with a child or an adult? Sometimes I really am not sure. I feel like I have three children, my two by birth and my spouse! Covert narcissists grow physically, mentally, and even socially, but not emotionally.
Apology Dodging of a Covert Narcissist
I have never met anyone better at dodging apologizing than a narcissist. They are experts at it. Their sense of superiority causes them to never feel that they are in the wrong. Other “inferior” individuals are always to blame. So for them to apologize requires that they lower themselves to an equal or lesser plane than others. This is something that they simply cannot do! They will tap dance, side step, spin in a circle, and stand on their heads. But they will NOT apologize, at least not in any real and genuine way.
No Reconciliation Ever
In all relationships, you are certainly going to upset each other from time to time. You are going to hurt each other’s feelings and find yourself in an argument or disagreement. This is a very normal part of life. Knowing this is true, however, caused me for years to justify what was going on in my marriage. I made so many excuses for his painful words and behaviors.