When a healthy individual harms someone that they love, here are some things that typically happen:
The person who made the mistake feels remorse for hurting the other person.
The person who made the mistake apologizes with sincerity and without excuses.
The person who made the mistake tries to not continue repeating the offense.
When genuine forgiveness happens, the following are typically experienced:
Forgiveness and reconciliation occur.
Genuine connection and openness is felt by both parties.
This leads to changes in behavior and attitude of the person who made the mistake.
These changes lead to a more stable environment and a happier future for all involved.
However, you just can’t reconcile with a narcissistic person. It simply can’t be done. All of these steps require give
Compare the things the healthy individual does above with these common reactions from narcissistic individuals:
The narcissistic person defends their actions and words, feeling no remorse for hurting someone.
The narcissistic person makes excuses and accusations, rather than apologies.
The narcissistic person continues repeating the offense because they see nothing wrong with their behavior.
So instead of the positive environment mentioned above, the following are typically experienced:
Resentment and dissension occur.
Disconnection and internal mental battles occur.
The behavior and attitude never change.
The environment becomes more unstable as time goes by.
Happiness seems far out of reach.