I have heard these circular conversations referred to as gaslighting, word salad, and verbal vomit. I prefer to call them circular conversations from hell.
It is the single most painful place I have ever been, the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I have never felt so alone and destitute as when trapped in one of these. And I do mean trapped, held prisoner. There is no way out. Nothing you say will change the course. Nothing you say will turn it in a positive direction. Nothing makes this better, and I have tried everything! The covert narcissist will unceasingly turn everything around and around, spinning forever in a bottomless pit of negativity. One minute you might feel like you are making progress, going in a good direction, and then WHAM!!! You are right back where you started. Right back to the hurt feelings. Right back to the anger and despair. You find yourself wondering, “What just happened? How did we get back here?” You find yourself defending everything you have ever done, said, or even thought. You are defending a look you had or the way you breathed. You are defending things that were positive things at the time that have now been twisted against you. Guards are up and engaged. Spontaneity does not exist. Reconciliation does not exist. Give and take does not exist. Staying relaxed is impossible! If you have ever been in one of these conversations, you know exactly what I am talking about. When you talk to others who have been there, you know it. How do you get out of these conversations? You walk away!!! Tell them you aren’t talking about this right now, shut your own mouth no matter what comes out of theirs, and walk away. Leaving is the only out! Anything you say can and will get used against you!