A relationship without give is a relationship full of hurt. With a covert narcissist, there is no give, no wiggle room, no slack in the line they have around your neck. They pull tighter and tighter and give you no breathing room. No room to be human, to be spontaneous and genuine. They give you no room to be you!

Here are some examples of statements that have no give in them:

You ALWAYS talk so mean to me! You NEVER show you care!
I can’t even talk to you because you NEVER listen!

If you are trying to talk with them about how they interact with you, you hear:

I DIDN’T YELL!!
I NEVER said that!
WHY should I apologize?!?

A person with give says things very differently. It's the difference between saying:

“You ALWAYS talk so mean to me!” and “Those words hurt. I don’t like it when you say things like that.”
“I can’t even talk to you because you NEVER listen!” and “I don’t feel like you are listening to me right now.”
“I DIDN’T YELL!” and “Oh, I sure didn't think that I was yelling.”
“I NEVER said that!” and “I really don't remember saying that.”
“WHY should I apologize?!?” and “I’m sorry.”

Watch normal everyday conversations with your loved ones and friends. People function with give. They cut the other person some slack, give some margin and benefit of the doubt. They leave space for the other person to feel better about themselves even if they messed things up.

Not with a covert narcissist! There is no slack, no margin, no benefit of the doubt. There is no give! The slightest error, and they will pounce. The smallest room for a mistake, and they attack. There is no space for you to be human and anything less than whatever version of perfect is in their eyes at the moment. You are being held hostage by your own humanness.