Have you ever asked yourself, “Am I the narcissist?”

It’s one of the most common fears I hear from survivors of covert narcissistic abuse. And here’s why: covert narcissists often use the very same words you do. At times, they mirror you. They accuse you of doing exactly what they’re doing. They’ll say things like, “You never listen,” “You always bring up the past,” or “Nothing ever gets resolved.” And these are the very things you are trying to communicate to them.

It’s confusing, disorienting, and often makes you second-guess yourself. But here’s the truth: the difference doesn’t lie in the words. It lies in the intentions behind them.

It’s not just about what is said, but how it is said, the energy behind it, and the capacity to follow through. Let’s break it down.

Welcome Back, Survivors
After learning the basics of covert narcissism—half-apologies, gaslighting, silent treatment, and baiting—you’ve probably realized that the advanced techniques are far more insidious. These are the behaviors that keep you trapped, confused, and second-guessing yourself.

Understanding them is the first step to reclaiming your clarity and your peace.

Course Description:
Learn how to erode someone’s confidence, rewrite history, and maintain the perfect image in public while being impossible in private. By the end of the semester, you’ll have your partner questioning their sanity—and, with any luck, apologizing to you for the damage you caused.

Learning Objectives:

• Master the half-apology in under 30 seconds.

• Perfect the art of gaslighting until your partner Googles, “Am I going crazy?”

• Implement silent treatments that ensure nothing ever gets resolved.

• Cultivate a shiny public image that makes your partner look ungrateful.

• Weaponize sighs, eye-rolls, and martyrdom for maximum effect.

Grading:

• 50% Deflection

• 30% Playing the Victim

• 20% Selective Memory
  Pass/Fail only. (Spoiler: you always pass, your partner always fails.)

When you first meet them, it feels like magic. They’re playful, charming, adventurous—the kind of person who sweeps you off your feet and makes life feel light. But slowly, you realize the truth: all the fun comes with a cost.

Because when life gets real—when accountability, responsibility, or emotional depth show up—they vanish. They deflect. They sulk. They blame. And you’re left carrying the weight of a relationship that never grows, while they float off into their fantasy world.

Welcome to the Peter Pan world of covert narcissists—where one partner refuses to grow up and the other gets stuck trying to hold everything together.

There were countless nights I sat on the couch in silence, staring into the quiet, trying to figure out why I couldn’t communicate with him.

I would replay conversations like a broken record, searching for the exact moment I must have gone wrong. Why couldn’t I find the right words? Why did everything I said get twisted? Why did nothing ever land the way I intended?

I told myself that next time would be different. Next time, I’d be calmer, more patient, more understanding. Next time, I’d explain it better.

But next time always ended the same.

You don’t have to know the term gaslighting to recognize the dizzying confusion of hearing, “I never said that.” You don’t have to understand circular conversations to feel the exhaustion of talking in circles until you’re the one apologizing.

For years, I lived with covert narcissistic abuse without knowing the vocabulary for it. I knew the feelings long before I knew the words—the constant tension of walking on eggshells, the pain of never getting it right, the mental knots of endless, unresolved conversations.

In my latest post, I’m breaking down these tactics—not as cold definitions, but as lived experiences—so you can finally put words to what you’ve been through and begin to reclaim your truth.

Baiting is one of the covert narcissist’s most toxic tools.
They provoke you just to watch you react—then claim you’re the problem. This blog post breaks down the signs of narcissistic baiting, why it works, and how to respond without giving away your power.

When you are with a covert narcissist, you are always the problem. No matter how carefully you speak or how much you give, the blame always finds its way back to you.

In this episode, we explore the impossible choices you are forced to make everyday…and the one healthy conversation you will never get. If you’re tired of apologizing for your existence, this one’s for you.

Leaving doesn’t start with a go bag. It starts with a whisper inside your mind that says, ‘This is not okay.’ Before anyone sees you leave on the outside, you’ve already begun to leave on the inside. This blog post explores why walking away from a covert narcissist is a slow, deliberate process—and why survivors deserve compassion every step of the way.

If you’re constantly adjusting your life just to avoid someone else’s bad mood, you’re not keeping the peace—you’re surviving emotional manipulation.

This blog post explores how covert narcissists use their moods to control everyone around them, why partners and families give in, and what it takes to break the cycle without losing your mind.