What is gaslighting? It is defined as making someone question their own reality. It is when a person effectively puts forth a false narrative that leads another person to doubt their own perceptions and become confused.
Covert narcissists are experts at making you question everything. They add just enough truth in what they say to truly make you doubt yourself. “I didn’t say it that way.” “I was only joking. You took it too seriously.” “I would never say that. You are remembering it wrong.” They deny they said something, that you know they said, causing you to question your memory. But they are so convincing, and you want to believe them.
They tell you that you misunderstood them, causing you to question your perceptions. They will convince you of things that simply are not true. They twist reality so subtly and quickly that you are left completely unsure. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I heard it wrong. Maybe I wasn’t paying attention.
In addition, their actions do not match their words, telling you how much they love and cherish you one minute and yet treating you horribly the next, causing you to question your own feelings. They say they love me. Maybe I’m reading too much into the negative moments. Maybe I’m expecting too much.
You question yourself over and over. You used to be a confident person, trusting your intuition. But not anymore. Now you feel unsure about everything in your daily life with this person. You get lost in self-doubt and confusion, not seeing this as abuse, and continuing to make all sorts of excuses for your abuser.
It is time to STOP!! It is time to trust yourself again. You can listen to your intuition. Your heart has been telling you that something is wrong here. Listen to it! It has been right all along.