Have you ever heard the term grey rock? I was doing this and didn’t even know what it was. It had become a way of life for me before I ever heard the phrase.
So what is grey rock? Grey rock is becoming as boring as you possibly can to this person. You show no emotions, no reactions, and no care, keeping conversations as short as possible. You become as boring, dull, empty, and emotionless as a simple grey rock. The kind we see all the time and totally ignore.
This is a form of self-protection. I can't be open with him. This has burned me so many times. I can't tell him how I feel or what I think because he reacts so hard. It just wasn't worth it anymore! Volunteering any opinion or thought was risky. Keeping my mouth shut was simply safer.
Over time we have all learned our rights: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you."
I do not blame any victims for these natural reactions of grey rocking to the constant abuse. It is a needed boundary to quit over-sharing with them, quit opening yourself up to continued abuse. Radically accept who this person is. How many times do they have to show you before you accept that they are going to treat you poorly?